I consider myself to be a sex writer. I have a blog and love to write things to do with sex – the sex I have experienced myself mostly, but every now and again, I like to see what is going on in other people’s sex life. I often wonder if people really are having sex like Christian Grey and Ana in 50 Shades of Grey. I know I’m not. Are you?

Is it the concept?

The concept of 50 Shades is sexy – I like the whole dominant and submissive thing that they have going on in there. However, I wonder if that sort of sex life would be utterly exhausting. She needs to be perfectly primped and preened for his disposal at a moment’s notice for starters. I can just about manage to get my personal admin in check for my weekly visit to the boyfriend’s house. If I were to be expected to be at his beck and call, I’d need to carry a razor in my damn pocket.

Is it convenient?

The thing about books and other forms of erotic fiction like this that are aimed at women is that they aren’t all that convenient. I mean, who really has time to jet off in a private jet and screw in the bathroom? Who has the patience to sit at a family meal with a set of love eggs in, all the time trying not to move for fear of leaving a damp patch on the chair? Who has the time for this sort of sex life?

Is it just fantasy?

Admittedly, the book is fiction. It’s fantasy, and what a lovely fantasy it has been for us ladies to enjoy. At the same time however, doesn’t it give you a rather unrealistic view on what sex should be like between two people? I love BDSM style sex and often indulge in a bit of it myself from time to time if the participant is willing enough. Would I want this on a regular basis? Probably not. My vagina would hurt. I would imagine my ass would hurt with all the spanking too.

Is it enough?

From time to time I have sex like they do in this book but by time to time, I mean like once or twice in a year. There are a couple of people that I have sex like this with. That’s why I find it so sexy – it isn’t there at a moment’s notice for me. If I were to have it all the time, I would get bored of it. This is the same for many women. Well, the women that I seem to talk to anyway.

We like to keep these ideas of sex and the men that we are sleeping with in the back of our mind like a unicorn. Those perfect sexual moments don’t seem to exist quite like they do in the movies or the books but we keep holding on to the idea that they do exist. That’s what we are going to love so much about the up and coming 50 Shades of Grey movie. I was incredibly excited to see Charlie Hunnam playing the beautiful Christian Grey. In fact, I probably would have cast him in the role myself and didn’t get all the negative hype. Is it that we’ve all come to have our own idea of what this man should look like and be? Kinda’ like spending too much time chatting with a guy online before finally meeting: give yourself too much time to come up with your own version of the guy and what you think he is based on what you’ve read and he’ll likely never quite live up to it. What will happen if the new choice is not your cup of tea? Would that ruin the concept of Christian Grey for you once he had been put in the flesh? I’m hoping not—for your sake and mine!

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